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Chris Colfer
Well, sometimes, promiscuity seems to be a rule to fulfill to get the “gay” badge. Sometimes, exclusivity in a relationship among two guys seems to be perceived as an oddity, and the request for it as a whim. It is as if gay boyfriends should expect each other to get with other people from time to time, and opposing it is just being ridiculous, uptight and a stupid dreamer.
Chris is talking about his own perceptions concerning relationships. Apparently, judging from this quote, he likes exclusivity, so it’s sad for him that young gay partners, according to what he knows, usually seem to be incapable of offering that.
He’s not an aged man who has seen it all. Most of the young gay guys he might have met so far are promiscuous and won’t enter exclusive relationships which may be the kind of relationships Chris would consider the right ones for himself. He’s not trying to decide which sexual/relationship dynamics are the best for everyone or shaming anyone. He’s sharing an opinion. Perhaps he could have elaborated further, adding “is really sad to me” or “non-exclusive even when they actually would like to” or “promiscuous cause they think they have to prove something by it”, but sometimes he’s silly enough to trust people not to run away with the worst possible interpretation of every word he utters.
I’m not disappointed in him at all. I’m disappointed in the fandom, which apparently makes the worst interpretations of everything he says to purposely take offense.
Much as with the Karofsky issue, he has the right to say what he thinks, and he’s even trying to ease it somehow, warning that he doesn’t want to upset anyone.
In short, I don’t see the problem with saying “a lot of gay kids are very promiscuous”. I would have stated the same, cause, well, from what I know, “a lot of gay kids are very promiscuous.”
And I, for one, like the fact that he validates the desire to have an exclusive relationship. Nothing wrong with an open one, but it’s not just a privilege reserved for heterosexuals. Also, I can get totally behind the opinion that it’s not necessary to have had a lot of sexual partners, to be sure that one likes dick.
(via hereyoutalktotony)
In what way does his quote possibly not amount to condemning choices different from his own? Read the context. He is very clearly saying that gay youth are promiscuous and nonmonogamous and that that, in and of itself, is sad. Period. End of story.
I am Chris’s biggest fan. I think this is literally the first time I have ever seriously criticized him on this blog. You have no reason to be disappointed in me for taking what he says at face value; all the little addenda that you are saying he “could have” added are, obviously, things that he did NOT choose to add. There is, in fact, not a shade of meaning here that suggests he understands that nonmonogamy can be a happy choice made by people with eyes wide open who have a full understanding of the implications.
I don’t think Chris is a bad person. He will continue to be my favorite celebrity and I love and respect him very much. That doesn’t mean I’m not going to point out and criticize when he says something problematic. You accuse me of making “the worst interpretation” of what he is saying, when the reality is I am interpreting the quote at face value and you are the one who is adding shades of meaning that he “could have” meant.
(via shiphassailed)
I’m considering the context. That’s why I hypothesize about the possible meanings of his words and don’t go strictly for what appears to be literal. I’m not disappointed in you for your interpretation of his words or for calling him out on something that was not phrased in the best manner possible. Yes, I’ve admitted that: he could have phrased it better. But I’m disappointed in the portion of fandom which purposely tries to make him look as a bad person or an insensitive jerk cause of a not very pertinent choice of words. I’m trying to put myself in his shoes to understand what he’s saying. And, once more, he’s saying something that is important to me and makes me feel better about my own choices. On the opposite, his wording of the answer might make other people feel bad about their particular choices and they have the right to say so, but they could be sane and tolerant as you are being and give him the benefit of the doubt or at least not bury all the good things he has done under some words quoted by some entertainment interviewer.
(via hereyoutalktotony)
I think people who take it the way you are taking it shiphassailed are not being fair to Chris. I agree with Paulo, you are projecting, taking what he said as a condemnation of your choices instead of a reflection of his own experience. So even though you are entitled to your own feelings, I do not think you are considering anyone else’s but your own (including Chris’s or anyone who might agree with him and disagree with you). You are making this about yourself and ignoring context and intent. You are so ready to be offended that you assume the worst instead of reflecting on what was actually meant. You are also disregarding everything Chris has done and said for this one thing. If what Chris is doing is “slut shaming,” what you are doing is monogamy shaming by assuming those that chose monogamy automatically condemn those who don’t.
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